hmmm...
My brain works in VERY mysterious ways!
Last night I finally was able to get out and use a gift certificate I was given for a pedicure. Let me tell you how luxurious that was!! When I was finished there I had to get some groceries. It was still fairly early and I wanted to get home after the kids were in bed (bad I know)!!
So, I headed over to the mall and walked in. I started feeling all full of anxiety. I just started feeling FAT!! That never happens. I know I am over weight, but I NEVER have let it effect me to the point of turning around and walking out of a public place. I mean, come on! It's not like I am waddling for god's sake!!
Guess what my crazy self did next? I drove to KFC and ordered a piece of chicken and their mashed potatoes! OMG!! Why did I freakin' do that? Here I am so pissed for being FAT and I go and eat the worst food EVER! I have been so good and I know that in the long run I wont gain weight from that one meal, but WTF?
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I think us women are INSANE sometimes. I do the same kind of shit. I'm mad that I put on some weight, then an hour later, there I am eating something bad for me. WTF! (But it tastes so DAMN GOOD!)
And as far as feeling fat, you aren't alone. I know I'm not overweight, yet I can't seem to stop those feelings sometimes either. IT'S INSANE! I'm going to go ahead and blame the media. TV, magazines, billboards. STICK SKINNY women are everywhere. It's so bad that they make me feel overweight!
Yes, I know, I need a brain reprogramming.
u're definitely not the only one - same thing, feeling horrible about myself so i go pig out on crappy stuff - go figure!
& the mall does that 2 me too...something about all those young/skinny bitches roaming around shopping, makes me feel all insecure & out of place!
ugh!
You're definitely not alone. Don't beat yourself up about it!!! I rarely ever can shop in malls for clothes now at all. With this pregnancy I have gained and now am in plus size clothing. Sifting through image size Sears catalog- not fun. It is only normal to feel anxiety when surrounded by everything at the mall. Food is definitely one of those 'comforts' that I have used to cope - it tastes so good then you feel guilt afterward.
but in all honesty, any pictures iv recently seen on the blog you're definitely not fat!! I get mad when Ryan tells me that lol and you have summer coming up, all the nice weather. Falling off the band-wagon so to speak from time to time is normal.
I've really been feeling it lately - I know I'm not fat, but I have this horrible fat layer left from the last pregnancy. It's driving me crazy! Then, I want to go & eat more. :(
I think we all do that @ one time or another. I mean, KFC potatoes are the BEST too ;) Don't be so hard on yourself :)
Wendy - I do this all the time. It's one of my biggest downfalls. Especially if something is bothering me....
Don't be so hard on yourself!
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