Bullying {long one}

There is NOTHING I hate more at school then bullies! There are different types....physical and verbal seem to be the major ones!! We recently found out about a boy in Wesley's class who has been picking on him and well, pretty much every person in the class. Come to find out it's much more then "boys will be boys". 

I first heard about this from another Mom at one of Wesley's basketball games. She asked if I had heard about what "J" has been saying to Wes and her son in class. I hadn't so she proceeded to tell me that "J" was calling the boys idiots and girls because of their long hair. Normally both boys let things like this roll right of their backs, but obviously it's been going on for some time. I talked about it to Wesley and he said it was true and that "J" is always mean to everybody. 

So, we had a conversation about talking to the teacher. I also said that he's going to ALWAYS run into kids who are mean and sometimes just ignoring it can be the best thing. That the mean kids just want the attention. At this point I really had NO idea how bad things were getting. 

The other day he called me right after the after school homework club had started and asked to be picked up. I said of course and Michael went to get him. Come to find out this boy was there and Wesley didn't want to stay at the club because "J" wouldn't leave him alone. UGH!! 

The next clue was when we were talking about what the class was doing for Valentines Day since there would be no party. The kids had to write a compliment about their classmates. Wesley completely had a breakdown because he had NOTHING nice to say about "J". This is pretty much when I knew we were dealing with more then just a little teasing. 

I didn't call the school right away since I had a PT conference this week {yesterday}. We listened to the usual stuff about how bright Wesley is but that he is really frazzled and unorganized. {yep...that's my kid} Then we went into talking about "J" and what has been going on. 

Wesley's teacher really had NO idea how bad it had gotten with Wesley and the other boy in his class. The teacher said she has noticed it with other kids though. This boy has a desk all by himself away from the other kids so obviously he has other behavior issues. She was good about letting Wesley know it's okay to come to her when he feels unsafe at school or uncomfortable. She will do all she can to make it stop. By this time it took all I had for me to not break down in tears. My heart was BREAKING for Wesley. Just knowing that for MONTHS this asshole kid was making him feel so horrible about himself. 

Being from a small town we see this kid everywhere and I would never think he was like this. It's not like he's some stereo typical bully that you see on TV. *sigh* I really hope that after a conversation with his father {the teacher, not me} things will get better. If not then I will be taking this to the higher ups! These kids are going to be in school together for the next 8 years so we definitely need to nip it in the bud now. I know who his father is and I've never talked to him, but I will!! I'm sure he has NO idea that his boys are like this!! 

I say "boys" because while talking to another Mom at Wesley's basketball game I found out that his twin brother is THE.SAME.WAY!! The twin was calling her son fat {he's way taller then other 4th graders and SOLID}. It had been going on for a while so the boy kneed him right in the balls!! Now...I am not one to condone violence, but he totally got what he deserved!! These kids can only take so much...seriously! 

I keep looking back to see if Wesley ever showed us through his behavior or actions that this was going on. I really can't think of anything! I never would have known if the first Mom didn't mention what her son had told her. I'll definitely keep you posted on what happens!! 

Oh...and THANKS for letting me vent about this!! 

5 people showing me love:

Donna February 11, 2010 10:56 AM  

Awe...mean kids are so horrible, I really hope my kids are never like that.

Ethan told me kids were laughing at him at bell work yesterdayand it hurt his feelings, I was so sad=( it broke my heart.

Mama Skates February 11, 2010 2:30 PM  

poor Wes! i'm glad u found out...that does stink that he held it inside for so long...but at least he now knows he can come to u guys & his teacher from now on! i hope it stops...bullies suck!!!

Sara February 11, 2010 2:50 PM  

Kids are so mean. I hope that it gets better!

Monica February 12, 2010 2:17 PM  

That stinks! I feel so bad for Wesley, you, and Michael. I hope things get resolved quickly! You can vent anytime...it's your blog! LOL!!!

Feel free to email or call me anytime. I'm going through the same thing with Alex only it's not school kids, it's neighbor kids :(

SJ February 14, 2010 10:16 AM  

Mean kids really suck, I hope you find a resolution quick and that Wes starts to feel confident again. He shouldn't have to go through that at school...

Don't you just hate those kids that seem so sweet & innocent, but really aren't? I think you should talk to his parents.

Good Luck! Give Wes some love for us!

Who am I?

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I live in New Hampshire with my husband Michael and my two kiddos, Wesley(11) and Lani(5)! I own a home child care so I can be home with my children.I have a passion for creating scrapbooks and taking photos. I'm in the process of starting my very own photography business:} I love to spend time with my family, going on day trips and other adventures! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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